Just pray for me...

Can anybody tell me where I went wrong,

I was following Christ, man, I was going strong,

But now I'm stuck sittin here asking what happened,

And why am I in the same place that before I was trapped in,

Listening to myself on verses and getting convicted,

What happened to that person rappin, who used to live it,

Yeah, I struggled, but I always turned to Christ,

Cuz I recognized I could only do it in His might,

But then the enemy came, seeking who he could devour,

And its like I went backwards and I need a cold shower

To revive me, cuz I'm trying to go back in the grave,

Like the Isrealites tried to go back to being slaves,

And my heart's hard like Pharoah's, it no longer cares,

And now I'm scared, cuz deep down, I know I'm going no where,

On the path to hell, and only I have chosen it,

Cuz I felt the need to rebel, and now I'm stuck on it,

Temptation was there and I tried to do it alone,

But I couldn't resist, becuz I tried on my own,

And now all I feel like doing is just giving up,

Cuz I'm so disappointed, I don't deserve this love,

And I know I'm just gonna mess up further down the road,

And I feel too ashamed cuz I'm a screw up, I know,

I've known the truth but I felt the need to run away,

And so now all I ask is that whoever sees this prays,

Pray for my soul cuz its in some serious trouble,

And thought I know it, I can't turn back, its like my mind thinks double,

So please, just lift me up whenever I come to your mind,

And pray that I get myself right in time,

Cuz I know if I don't I'll be gettin my

just rewards, and I'm scared of what I'm gonna find

And I know alot of you, looked up to who I was,

And I'm sorry I let you down, cuz I gave into my lusts,

I'm sorry to everyone that I caused to lose trust,

That wasn't my intention, thats just what sin does,

I'm even more sorry to all those who poured into me,

So much love, support, and endless energy,

Who took the time to listen and just hold my hand,

To the ones who never judged, but always tried to understand,

I have nothing in my heart for you but love and respect,

I'm just sorry I didn't come out how you'd expect,

Just know its nothing towards you, and if I don't change I'm gonna pay,

But you always did what you had to do, and said what you had to say,

And its all on me now, cuz I do know the truth,

All I ask is that you pray and forgive me for hurting you,

And I can't wait to see the reward that you get in the end,

For all that your faithfullness and your love has meant.

hmmm

I guess we're meant to walk alone, throughout our entire lives,

In order for us to depend more on having Jesus at our side,

But sometimes it seems so lonely, like nobody understands,

Cuz the fact is no one else is walking exactly the same path,

And I confess I'm just so tired of trying to talk to friends,

Cuz all they're interested in is using you and then its just the end,

And I'm not feeling sorry for myself, no pity do I desire,

I just wish for an understanding ear to help me through this fire,

And sometimes I get so restless and I just want to run away,

From growing up and the change it brings, cuz it gets harder by the day,

First you begin to lose yourself, and you just become confused,

And your friends don't know you anymore so them you also lose,

And your so mixed up and misunderstood, that you just don't take the time,

To explain to them, that you need their patience to get through this hard time,

And then in the midst of all this, you get so caught up in yourself,

And trying to figure things out that you forget there's someone else,

Who's been by your side all along, just waiting patiently,

Persistantly whispering in your ear, "my child come to me",

And your just so tired from being misunderstood and used,

That you fear this very voice may just be another that leaves you,

And even though He's known you from before time began,

It doesn't change that your still scared to give Him a chance,

But the questions still remains will you let fear run your life,

Or will you give it to the One who can give you a new life?

yeah... thats pretty much it...

"It was more than this and now its nothing,

Its faded into the background again,

Another watercolor painting ruined in the rain,

The paint is running and so are we,

Running from pain we cannot escape."

-Unknown-

The Secrets of My Heart